Everyone says that 3 is the hardest...

Um.......have they had 4? Okay, so maybe it is because of my mind set, but this is really hard! I have had some difficulty getting back into baby mode, but that really hasn't been the hardest part. My 8-year-old and almost 7-year-old are fighting CONSTANTLY! Normal, I'm sure, but then add a 3-year-old that is not potty trained and has become very defiant. His growing up so quickly in the past two weeks has come with unexpected attitude. I am going back to work next week and I am dreading it so much. I usually prefer to get right back in to my normal routine so I don't have time to get depressed or get mad about the fact that I have to go back to work at all. I feel totally different this time. I don't feel ready yet. I took all 4 kids out with me yesterday by myself for the first time and it freaked me out a little. I HAVE FOUR KIDS!! AHHHHHHH! I am so sleep deprived! There is no napping when the baby is napping. I have 3 others that make sure that doesn't happen. As I sit here typing this post, my only girl is trying to fix my hair with lots of clips and pony tails. I am fighting back tears as the hair is being ripped from my scalp! I know if I say anything she will get upset and run away crying. Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into??? Well, time to put my happy face back on and go on with the rest of the day. :-)